I was watching a movie the other day and one of the characters said something that stuck with me. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I’ve heard variations throughout my life, most often I’ve heard this one: “When the student is ready the lesson will appear.” Now I don’t usually apply Hollywood wisdom to my life, but I started to reflect on the best and most conflicted advice I’ve ever received.
Growing up, my grandfather played a huge role in my life. He was a kind, gentle, and wise man with a huge heart. He married my widowed grandmother when she still had 3 of her 4 children living at home. The youngest child, my Aunt, was just 5 years old! He lived his life filled with love and respect for others, and I miss his presence in my life today, though I still carry his lessons with me.
Live Your Life for You
He told me “You’ve got to live your life like everyone’s watching.” Which was contradictory to what my Grandmother told me: “Live your life like no one is watching.”
As a child, I thought to myself, who’s right? My Grandmother was really smart, and Grandfather really was too. So how the heck could I do both? Live like everyone was watching, and yet, live like no one was watching?
One day I asked my Grandfather what he meant. He told me that I had to apply my own logic to it, and that of course made even less sense to me. I asked my Grandmother, and she gave me a similar answer. Talk about the best advice and the worst advice.
Choose Your Actions Wisely
Years ago I lost my Grandfather and naturally I felt pretty devastated by the loss. At his memorial service I was asked to share my favorite memory of my Grandfather. So I took the podium and I shared the advice he’d bestowed upon me. And in that moment, I finally figured out what he meant. My Grandfather wanted me to live my life with integrity, to do unto others as I wanted done to me. To live above suspicion or contempt. To value my actions and choose them wisely. Pretty wise man.
So how then did my Grandmother’s advice apply to my life? Well I decided that she was right too. If I choose to live like no one is watching, I take more risks, I don’t let the collective consciousness impact my decisions or actions that I take. I am able to focus on my own unique talents, abilities and actions to create the life I desire. I have no need to concern myself with the judgments, prejudices, or decisions of others. I can live free of judgment and focus on what I need to do for myself and my own life.
What was the best advice you ever received, and how do
you apply it to your life?
Tags: best advice · changing your life · life lessons · live free of judgment6 Comments
6 responses so far ↓
One of my favorites. A spin on an old one.
“You only live life once… but don’t forget to DO that.”
I’ve heard the topmost quote before. It’s Buddhist but can apply to anyone irregardless.
I can’t say that any one piece of advice has applied because I’m still trying to figure that out. Hence why I’m here. But I would say that actions speak louder than words. So in that regard I’d have to say that one should laugh often and likewise forgive as much. Don’t be argumentative. Winning, to “be right” seems more often than not to harden the one on the receiving end of your verbal barrage and even if you “win” it tastes like a stale piece of bread.
I believe that the Yin Yang logo is very appropriate on this occasion as the two opposing views are still complementary as they give a balance in life.
On the one hand we need to be accountable, trustworthy and open to our fellow humans, and on the other hand we need to be able to live our own lives without being fettered by the prejudices of others.
The best advise I ever got was from you. I would be revealing something you are selling so I will not say what it is.( the ending of The Secret of Deliberate Creation)
But I am managing in spite of being recently widowed to still smile. I used this advise to choose to honor my husband’s memory through my love …not die with him.
Yeah..I cry too but I always reorient myself to where I need to be.
Thank you
One I came up with yesterday probably writen by some one else
“Lifes not over Yet” …
One comprehend the other. Different situation require different response.
Rejecting one is same is rejecting another. Same as rejecting the other person is same as rejecting ourselves